By Kavika and Enoch. You read it, we own it. All rights reserved.
Part One - Before the Beginning.
KAVIKA: Deep in the forest primeval between the Atlantic River and the Mississippi Ocean lies a land few know. Its name dates back in history over 2,000 years. This is so long ago and far away that in those bygone years, people celebrated holidays for their spiritual and civic meanings, not as excuses for rampant consumerism.
Let me share with you how this great land came to be.
A couple of thousand years back the Ojibwe People lived here. One day, the Ojibwe Chief, Stands-His-Ground saw a group of people whose mode of dress, and physical appearance was foreign to his land. As is the culture of the Ojibwe, he welcomed the strangers in his midst.
He hollered out to them, Boozhoo (greetings). What are you doing here, and who are you? The leader of the group, Moses replied, Sholom Aleichem (Peace be Upon You). We are in search of our Promised Land. We are a tribe lost. We must have hung a Louie in the Sinai when we should have turned right. Last time we get a map from the Horeb AAA!
The Chief replied, well, you found us here, now what? Moses said, the air is clean, the water pure, the ground fertile. This looks to me like a Promised Land. Good as any we have seen. Mind if we join you?
As is the manner of the Ojibwe, Chief Stands-His-Ground invited them to join him and his own.
The Chief looked again at this strange group. Their mode of attire (long robes, moccasins with no tops, odd sounding language. Their leader, Moses seemed no threat. He carried around two stone tablets with writing Stands-His-Ground couldn't decipher. Hmmmm, thought the Chief. They don't seem dangerous. We do have some slack in our immigration policy. He invited them to join as neighbours in the land of the Great Spirit as equals.
Knowing that they were immigrants, the Great Chief told them they must assimilate to be "Real" Americans...
Moses looked at the Chief and asked, "Do you have any oil? We have been looking for forty years for some place that has oil. We want to dedicate our new home, and for that we need at least one day's supply of oil. Everyone knows you cannot safely or affordably get oil from sands.
The Chief pointed to a rapid entree restaurant known as OFD (Ojibwe Fried Deer). The bucket of Buffalo style deer wings looks like it is deep fried in just one day's oil. But there is always enough oil and grease at the bottom of the bucket to last eight days and nights. Exclaimed Moses, Its' another Festivus miracle. Let's go sit in our tents (Succoth), and celebrate the bounty of this fall harvest looking up through the porous roof at the night stars. How good and how comely are our tents, Chief.
The Chief replied, We have many things given us by the Great Spirit. We take only as we need, respect the ways of the Great Spirit and Mother Earth. We live in harmony with them.
You are indeed a wise Chief, Stands-Your-Ground, said Moses. Come join us for a Nosh (snack). How good, and how nice it is to sit together as Blood Brothers. Tell me, do you have religious freedom here? From a land of slavery did we come. To a place of freedom do we aspire to dwell.
Of course we have religious freedom here. What do you think we are, savages or something, replied the Chief?
You are anything but, that is obvious to us, said Moses. May the L-rd bless you and keep you. Make His Face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. Lift up His Countenance upon you, and give you peace.
The Chief replied, Whatever, and issued all green cards. His slapped one on Moses seated on a tobacco leaf with a bar code.
Thus began one of the most unique relationships in the history of the great peoples of humanity.
ENOCH: Now these are the generations of the Ojibwe and the Lost Tribe of Israel. It is from this that Kavika and Enoch kindred souls did become.
With the passage of many generations, the direct descendants of Chief Stands-His-Ground and Moses-Our-Teacher were childhood friends on the Ojibwe Kosher Reservation known as the land of Milk and Wild Rice. It is also referred to as the place where the Free Range Winnebagels Abide-in-Abodes.
The great Chief Stands-His-Ground begat Chief-Running-Faucet. He begat Chief-Respects-Nature. This legendary Chief begat Croons-Like-the-Wolphen, who Begat-the-Beguine. He begat his three sons, Moe, Larry and Curly. Together, at a Frat Kegger they begat Kavika.
The Lost Tribe did some begatting themselves. Moses-Our-Teacher begat Doesn't-Mix-Meat-with-Dairy. He begat Kiss-My-Mezuzah. In turn, he begat Schmir-My-Winnebagel. Four sons did he begat. Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Vowelo. In between the afternoon Minchah and evening Maariv did they begat Enoch, with an assist from a flask of Shlivovitz plumb brandy.
For two decades did Kavika and Enoch grow up like one as brothers of blood. These are the generations of friendship, fellowship, sailed ships, and flotillas with tightly wired ships.
In unison they climbed peaks, descended valleys, forded streamed, and endured droughts. One day they each put aside the toys of youth. Each, according to his own tradition took up the tasks of adulthood. In each of their tribal nations there are rites of passage which must be passed before they are fully accepted as men in the company and community of adults.
For as it is said in Ojibwe Oral Tradition, as it is written in Jewish literature there will come a time when the skunk of the field will arrive and bring together the great Red and White brothers to live in harmony with Mother Earth, the Great Spirit in the Sky, and the Department of Motor Vehicles branch office at the Suburban Plaza on East Route 15.
As the Great Skunk once addressed his flock, "Blood Brothers, Let Us Spray"!
Be on the lookout for Chapter Two in the Forgettable Memoirs of Kavika and Enoch. Copyrights of Passage.